Abused

Abuse – it’s on my mind a lot. It’s one of those pressing issues that does not go away. Around the holidays I am especially drawn to the fact that there is abuse everywhere. There is physical, sexual, emotional & spiritual abuse occurring right now. It happens to men and women and children. It is not privy to any particular race, sexual orientation, income, age our group.

It’s something no one wants to talk about. It’s hidden – a dirty little secret that kills. It makes me want to vomit just writing about it – but it’s been on my heart so much lately as I read the news about women & children dying because of it. I could quit reading the news, I could hide my eyes and ears from the truth of this reality, but to do that would be to say that I accept that “it is what it is” - and that is how abuse continues.

I was a little girl once – A little girl who was physically, sexually & emotionally abused. It left big scars and hurts that affected me physically, sexually, emotionally & spiritually. As a child I felt alone, and as an adult I’ve searched for that feeling of wholeness.

I am grateful to have found my wholeness in Jesus. For those who don’t know Jesus & for those who have suffered greatly I can see how one could scoff at the idea that there is a good God who allows abuse to occur. The best way I can explain it is that God hurts for his children who are hurting. Much like if my child were to be hurt by someone I would ache for them. I do my best to protect them but I will never be able to control all outcomes of the poor decisions of others. Similarly, God is an all knowing God but he does not control people. Sin has occurred and will continue to occur until he comes for us.

I am also grateful to my grandparents – who took me into their home and loved me and sheparded me as the sins done to me in my past affected me and caused many sins in the future.

My wish in writing this is not for anyone’s sadness on my part. I am a child of God, saved by God & my family is redeemed through God. My wish is that you would remember that there is ABUSE in the world still. It makes me sick, and so I ask that you would do the following:

1. Pray for it to stop – Almost every night my prayer has been that no child is hungry, no child is hurting & that no mommies & daddies are fighting.

2. Invite your neighbors over that you don’t know – Abuse hides. Abuse is lonely. Those who are abusers and who are being abused typically do not have a strong support system. Don’t assume your quiet neighbors are just quiet. Befriend them.

3. Love your children & spouse well. It is so easy to get caught up in a ME mentality. I’ve heard a lot of abuse stories happening because someone’s spouse or child was interrupting their ME time. When you have a spouse or children there is no ME time that is more important than your children/spouse.

4. Do not let old dogs lie – If you know there is abuse occurring DO something. We had some neighbors when we were little – if they saw us outside they would bring us ice cream and talk to us. When the cops came they’d let us stay at their house. They were wonderful. Sometimes you need to do something small, sometimes you need to do something big. In all things you need to LOVE.

I have no desire to make anyone uncomfortable or ashamed. I only want to make you aware of this issue going into the New Year. Here are some particular versus on abuse that I thought were good.

Child Abuse -

Colossians 3:21-"Fathers, do not provoke your children, or they may lose heart."

1 Timothy 3:2-3-"Now a bishop must be above reproach, hospitable, an apt teacher, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and not a lover of money."

Ephesians 6:4-"And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Wife Abuse -

Colossions 3:19-"Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly."

1 Peter 3:7-"Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honor to the woman as the weaker sex, since they too are also heirs of the gracious gift of life--so that nothing may hinder your prayers."